Friday, April 6, 2012

Updates ... Ok, let's get this blog going!

Ok, let's go for it and let's do the blog.  I've been heavily using TrainingPeaks' comments section but I got the fire to blog again, so we'll see how it goes.

Busy three months.  So I DID start training for an Ironman.  And those first few sessions sucked big time.  My first one hour bike ride I spent the whole hour wanting to quit and go back to Zumba, and that's what I did the whole hour, ok, I'll get to that corner and then quit and go back to Zumba, and then I'll go to that corner and then quit and go back to Zumba.  The first few times I ran sucked too because I started at one and two miles and the endorphins would kick in as soon as I got to the car.  And I'd be like REALLY???  NOW???  Where were you when I needed you twenty minutes ago?

Now I love biking, especially with the clipless.  There's soooo many things to talk about that I'll take a couple of weeks to catch up on everything as opposed to feeling I need to cover everything in this one post.  Now when I run, I get the rush of endorphins even before I started running!!  I'm up to six miles now.  The swimming is coming along.

Just starting with a new triathlon coach on Mondays.  There's a few things I like about having a coach.  First, I don't need a coach for motivation.  I need a coach to keep me from overworking myself lol  I'll drive myself to the ground with workouts.  Second, IMTX (Ironman Texas '13) is happening.  It HAS to happen.  It WILL happen.  If this was just you know, it'll happen when it'll happen, sure, I'd wing it, I'm sure with enough reading and websites and plans I can come up with a plan, but maybe it'd need a couple of seasons of tweaking.  I can't take that chance.  I have a limited timeframe.  And it just makes me feel better to have someone behind the wheel that already knows what will work and what won't.  No messing around, just straight to results.  And I also enjoy just doing.  Don't me wrong, I enjoy coming up with it also, but sometimes it's just nice to pull up and do.  Less planning more doing.  And if something doesn't work, more of a chance that the person knows how to fix it.

And the questions.  Oh, do I have questions.  My nutrition during races needs an overhaul.  200 calories during a Sprint, including pre-, is just not going to cut it.  And there's something wrong in the "execution" of my races also, what, I don't know.  But I don't think it's just the engine (i.e. my body), I think it's those two things also, and hopefully a coach helps with that.  Then there's also technique work.  So while there's a whole debate of whether triathlon coaches are needed for "regular" non-pro people, I guess it's just like personal trianers.  You don't NEED one, but they make the whole experience a whole more fun.

I have become so hooked on training it's not even funny.  Long way from that first bike ride.  Now I crave workouts.  Specially since I was following a temporary plan as part of a group that I joined before joining up with a regular coach.  I think having workouts makes them that much more appetizing to me.  I.e. today I don't get to run, so by tomorrow I'll be all hungry for running.  I think with the kind of person I am that had a huge impact in shifting me from dreading to craving.

So what happens if I don't meet the swim cutoff or the bike cutoff in IMTX 13?  I try again (no, I won't do stuff like "tri again" ha).  I'm not one to get devastated by failures.  It just makes me go, oh, you're saying I can't have that or do that?  I'll show you!  Yeah, a bit passive aggressive, and I enjoy the hell out of my passive aggressiveness.  But what are my chances of meeting the cutoffs if I go?  If I don't go?  Starting with that marathon in 2010 and continuing, I'm still of the mindset that I'd rather show up and fail than not show up at all.  The best learning experiences sometimes come from failure.  Having said all that, IMTX13 is my ***** :)  It's on like Donkey Kong.  It's happening.  I really shouldn't write these things while amped up on coffee.

I decided either last week or the week before the shirt I'm wearing for IMTX13.  Who knows, maybe depending on the cost I'll look on a custom tri top.  It's a once in a lifetime thing, I'm willing to spend a buck or two (up to a point... let's say $50-$150 for a custom tri top).  On the front I want there to be a picture of my dad with the caption "Dad's Name 11/12/1939-6/3/2009" and on the back there will be my before and current pictures with the caption "Debbie 07/03/09-IMTX13 Date" (or "present," haven't decided that part yet).  I think that'd be fitting.  And that'd be the end of "the journey" I started in '09, I think, and then I can move on with my life onto the next craziness.

I don't know if I have years of 20 hour weeks, but I know I have a year.  I love triathlons and I can see taking a few years to do some, but I can see myself moving on to other competition stuff, or maybe not.  I do want to do that Badwater 135-miler run with the 500-mile bike ride for that special medal, 2 Ragnars down and I still have to do the rest so I can hit every runner position and location, I have to do that Disney Full/Half Marathon combo, Boston, Kona, an Expedition Man, Western States, etc.  It's a far-reaching dream of mine to do a Ragnar in an ultra team of .... one.  But you need like ten minute miles for 200 miles to meet the cutoff, so that's like ok if it happens, ok if not, that's a dream I just thought up but haven't looked into the feasibility, everything else is doable.

I noticed something today.  For a long time whenever I met somebody knew I wanted them to know about "Fat Debbie" as soon as possible because there'd be no way they could ever understand me without knowing about Fat Debbie.  I wanted to whip out the before picture as soon as possible, not because I was fishing for compliments, but because I wanted them to see what was still inside of me.  Today, met someone new, didn't feel like telling them.  Hi, this is me, this is the present, what's up.  Let's move on from there.  No need to get into this whole past thing.  This is me.  I've been noticing a gradual shift towards this.  Like I'm finally coming into this body. I use to describe myself as "Debbie, Thinner" as opposed to "Thin Debbie" and I think those two statements are worlds apart.  Now I'm settling into just Debbie whatever the body is.

As I come upon my third anniversary of working out, I was going into this really low calorie diet that really wasn't very nutritious at all.  Two days ago I finally said screw it, I'm goig healthy.  Third day of eating healthy.  Yesterday I went 800 calories over but I think in time with all the training I do and how it increases I won't gain weight and I'll even tone.  Tons of veggies and protein and healthy fats.  And I think, and I was even expecting, that in the first couple of days my body would go FFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD and have a party and then normalize over the next couple of weeks, so I'm not worried (I went as low as 400 calories one day to make up for the 1600 I had the previous two days because I wanted to maintain a 1200 a day average).  So yeah, I stopped fighting my body.  I figure if I eat vegetables, chicken, fish, yogurt, eggs, etc., eventually that won't make me gain weight and my body will eventually trust that the windfall is not temporary and will settle into a good calorie level that it needs to function well and thrive.

My lifestyle is so different that I guess I have to trust I won't regain the weight.

And I mean I'm at a completely healthy weight, but I wanted the lowest possible weight before going from normal to underweight.  And maybe the shift in what I'm eating will shift the percentage of fat to muscle.

I did make the appointment with the plastic surgeon about the 10-20 lbs of extra skin I have.  It bounces.  You can hear it.  When I run and when I up and down stairs.  It's embarrasing.  And it affects my posture, hunching me over.  Imagine strapping a medicine ball to your stomach and walking, running, swimming, and biking with that every day.  So the surgeon will say whether it's medically necessary or not to remove it and then I can get a determination from the insurance company.  Hey may as well try, right?  I think they should pay for it because I just saved them a ****load of money in future medical bills and lost work.  It's the least they can do.  And I guess since it's been three years almost I've shown it's not coming back.  And I think part of the reason I'm so slow is the extra skin.  It's very hard for me to get into aero on the bike (leaning down towards the handlebars) because of the skin, and of course all the bouncing when I run.  And it affects my posture 24/7 when I sit and when I walk.  It's very hard for me to sit straight, physically.  Have that appointment later this month.  Someone said well are you getting this done and that done?  Nope, just the skin.  I like my body.  Imperfections and all.  The extra skin, that's about better living as it is about being able to wear a bikini (and come on, I put 20 hour weeks at the gym for weeks, and it sucks that I can't wear a bikini without surgery... I put in the work, I want the rewards, dammit!!).  So the stomach skin is different.  But the rest of the body, that'staying there.  If it's not perfect who cares, it's mine.

I went to a nutrition workshop today and heard the best description of weight I have ever heard.  There's useful weight and useless weight.  Try to maximize the amount of useful weight you have while minimizing the amount of useless weight you have.  So it's not about the amount of weight, but whether that weight helps you or not.  And I think I'm really starting to embrace that.  And I did start the healthy eating two days ago and the nutrition workshop was yesterday, so I was really starting to come around on my own.  But I really like that description and I will disseminate it as much as I can.

So welcome to the ride, I will be updating this from now on with little snippets here and there until I catch up on everything since I started training 1/2/12 (Monday)!!  Then I'll just update new stuff once caught up.  Aaaahhh my blogging juices are flowing again!!

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